God satisfies our needs

Philippians 4:19

“And my God will fully satisfy every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus”

My husband had been very adamant in my studying away from home, after all, it was a great ordeal on his part to be left behind for ten-months, when I was on scholarship in Australia.

Personally, I had my family on top of my list of priorities. This led me to explore ways to study based only at home. I only had two alternatives, one, was through distance education, another was to be enrolled in a local school.

I chanced to read an announcement of the Civil Service Examination for the Masters Degree Scholarship Program, through a local newspaper. God inspired me to apply and I accomplished and submitted all requirements on the very last day of submission of the application forms. This was a competitive scholarship program, so I had to take the competitive examinations.

It was a long and difficult examination. Then the waiting came and ended on December 24 (1995).

I still remember vividly my activities for that day. I was very busy helping in the putting-up of our new set of curtains, that after a while, I sat on a corner to relax my neck. In order to do this, I read the newspaper of the day. There it was - the announcement of the release of the names of those who passed the Civil Service Local Scholarship Program. Out of three hundred plus takers, only twenty- one passed. And one of the names was mine.

Praise the Lord! Indeed God satisfied my need in accordance to His will - the best purpose for my life.

God Should Be the First Priority

Matthew 22:37

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.”

God wants that He is the first priority, not the second, and neither the third. After the illness of my son (with dengue fever), I did not stop thinking as to how I can realign my center back to God. 

I meditated on this and the Lord spoke to me on the Three Kings, after we were released from the hospital where he was admitted. (Remember, he was on the brink of death – with a zero blood pressure, but God’s power and mercy brought his platelet back to normal, and released us from the hospital on Christmas Day.) He specifically indicated that I have to let go and put distance between me and my son. At first, I did not understand. 

But sooner, during the month, I was offered a chance to avail of a scholarship/fellowship grant in Australia for ten-months. I asked God as to whether this is the “distance” that He meant in His message to me. 

I felt His affirmation when I passed all the screening - a series of interviews and examinations, and was among the twenty-eight scholars from the Philippines. For ten-months, I was in Australia, away from my family and specifically my son. 

We only get a chance to communicate through the phone, and it was at that time very expensive. We didn’t have the internet yet, so, I had to buy phone cards to be able to call my family. 

I kept counting the days when we will be going home. But the distance between us trained me to let go and rely on God ta take care of my son.

It was a painful ordeal, but it was the distance which realigned my center back to God.

He who is Omnipresent Puts Everything Into Order

Psalms 117: 1 – 2

“Praise the Lord, all you nations! Extol him, all you peoples! For great is his steadfast love toward us, and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever. Praise The Lord!”

My schedule has been so arranged by unseeing hands. His timing is perfect and His purpose is unquestionable. 

I was in Cebu last June 19 (2003) for my two-months internship at pre-chosen academic and non-academic institutions (one-month each). The internship program is a very unique program, which mandates all doctoral students to experience hands-on management experience in order to observe the best practices of both types of organizations. I have chosen the University of San Carlos (because it is my alma-mater)- for the academic institution, and any of the international organizations at Mactan Ecozone, for the non-academic institution. For USC, the reception was welcoming because of my being an alumna. But it was rather difficult to get in to any of the industrial companies in the Mactan Ecozone. But God just put everything into order.

First, God arranged a place for me to stay – such that I had lots of fresh air, less pollution, and a very good community. I was staying with the sisters of the Saint Francis of the Immaculate Conception at Bo. Mactan, Lapulapu City.

Second, God arranged a doctor who will oversee me while I was there – she was one of those who specialized on Rheumatology while I was admitted in UST Hospital.

Third, God allowed me a flexible time in reporting to San Carlos – as I had to take two rides. I was allowed to report at 9:00 in the morning (it was about one hour ride from Lapulapu to Cebu).

Fourth, in my one-month of exposure at USC, I was able to meet and interview everybody whom I needed to interview – despite their busy schedule.

I could go on and on, but this I can attest.... that for every moment that I was there, I was never alone, because God with me -  in the multicab from Bo. Mactan to Opun, and in the van from Opun to Cebu. He even arranged a companion for me that first time I rode the van – as God arranged that I would be seated next to a student from the University of San Carlos. I am indeed in God’s hands and He put everything into order.

While in Cebu, I got to meet my former classmates in my undergraduate course. We had a grand time remembering our long hours of study and hard work in the laboratory and the library. I was the “Ate” to them – not because of age (in fact I was the youngest in the group), but it was more because I took charge of the checking of the attendance and arrangement of the schedule during our review for the board exam. Expectantly, most of those I was close were already in – place in big organizations. Incidentally, on the third week of my internship at the University of San Carlos, San Miguel still has not responded. We were already ending, and I still did not have a non-academic organization to go into. Ateneo Graduate School asked me to find one.

God is in the past, the present and the future. God destined my leadership of our undergraduate group. My membership to the Chemical Engineering Society was His plan. It was God who allowed me to study at the University of San Carlos and He arranged that I take up Chemical Engineering.

God in the present, allowed me to meet my former classmates of the past – for a purpose. My internship was facilitated in the academe, yet private organizations, much so international organizations are a little bit wary to accept “outsiders” to the management level. San Miguel Corporation already refused, and we were also refused by Fairchild – Semi-Conductor Company. We had nowhere to go, but God already put in-place a Human Resource Manager in TIMEX Philippines, Inc.,who was a co-member of my college organization. It was this colleague who allowed us in.

Everything is because of God – His power, and His presence. He who is Omnipresent puts everything into order.

God really talks...so please listen

Jer. 33:3

”Call to me and I will answer you. I will tell you things great beyond reach of your knowledge.”

Having read the old and the new testaments of the Bible, I always marveled at how God talked to the prophets personally. He talked personally to Noah, to Abraham, to Jacob, to Samuel, to Paul, and to many others. He gave them directions, and they followed what God told them to do. Such was a very intimate communication indeed, and deep inside I wanted that same intimacy......... yet I was wondering whether it could be possible.

When I accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior (way back in 1977), God inspired me to write a sort of a diary to Jesus. I had a big notebook, which always contained my day-to-day personal messages to God. I wrote about how thankful I am that God brought me back to His Kingdom,and  how grateful I am of the gifts and talents that He gave me. Everything written in that notebook reflected my message to God. I wrote pages of notes every day, yet, I was always the one who was "talking" to God through my notebook. That was a very one-sided relationship and there was no communication that happened. God knew all about me but I only knew a little about him because I did not allow him to talk to me. My knowledge of God was just head-knowledge” – all taken from my readings about Him. But it was a beginning.

Then I noticed that as I grew in my personal relationship with the Lord, I learned to communicate with God – meaning that not only that I talk and He listens, He also gets His chance to talk and I listen. Talking to God was very easy, but listening to God needed a lot of quietness of my own thoughts. Because I already had enough practice in writing – I wrote the “messages” that I received.

I discovered that God talks through the heart not to the mind. How was this possible? He puts His message through - by letting me experience the message itself. This time, not only that I get to talk to God, He taught me on how to listen to Him. As Jer. 33:3 promised – God told me things beyond my knowledge. 

I did not just write about it, I shared it to friends and even acquaintances. I always encountered eager faces - which seemed to understand what I was talking about, but did not really understand. I also encountered blank faces – those faces which wanted to say – are you insane? Deep inside, I prayed that God will confirm His message.

Then, I met a Franciscan sister and we were sharing with each other our thoughts and ideas about spirituality and the presence of God. As I was listening to her, it was as though she read about my reflections, and listened to my sharings – though it was our first time to meet. For a short while – God’s messages (the once which I wrote and shared) rung in my ears through her mouth. 

It was a very joyous experience, mainly because it confirmed that God indeed talks – and His messages are clear and personal – directed specifically to the hearer.

For this I praise and thank the Lord.

God in the Midst of Dengue Fever

Hebrews 6:10-12

“For God is not unjust; he will not overlook your work and the love you showed for his sake in serving the saints, as you still do. And we want each one of you to show the same diligence so as to realize the full assurance of hope to the very end, so that you may not become sluggish, but imitators of those who through faith and patience inherit the promises.”

December 23 of 1991 was a very painful day, filled with hurt, fear and doubt. In the morning, we brought Popol to the hospital for a follow-up check-up. I noted that since leaving our house, he was already crying his heart out- as if, something terrible was happening to him. He was still two years old then, quiet small and a little bit frail. At the hospital, the doctor took his blood pressure, and to my amazement – I glimpsed the surprise and apprehension on his face. Immediately, he took us to the emergency room. My son was in a state of shock, and he was in a very critical condition - as his blood pressure at that time, was zero and his platelet count lowered to a critical level. We never had a chance to go home. Our plans to buy some apples and oranges were forgotten. All I could think of was my son. 

For 6 hours, we stayed in the emergency room, until his B.P. rose back to a safe 70. Later in the evening, his condition worsened, and without medicine, I felt helpless and turned to God for help.

I always believed that nothing happens by coincidence, as it is written in Romans 8:28 …..”Everything works together for good for those who love and serve God”. He allowed it to happen, thus there must be something good that will come out of it. I must see beyond the sickness, the pain and the hurt and cling on the love of the Lord.

God’s loves me, and He loves my son too. In fact His love is even greater than mine. If during my son’s conception, I felt like Sarah and Elizabeth, in this painful ordeal, I felt as if I was the woman version of Abraham – whose love to God was tested, as he was asked to bring his son Isaac as an offering.

I was faced with this question … Am I willing to let go of my son, and entrust him to God? It was a painful - mental and emotional struggle, and the conscious part of my being wrestled and bargained with God.

Yet, subconsciously I held on to God’s promise of eternal love. Afterall, did not God the Father himself, gave-up his holy son to die on the cross – so that I can have eternal life? He has always been my good provider, and he always heed to my needs, even before I have them. Never did he fail anyone, and never will He fail me.

Was he not the one who gifted me with a son? God is a good God, and because he willed it to happen, then something greater than the pain will come. Who am I then to question His wisdom and His power?

That was the beginning of my surrender, and I said……...” Lord, let thy will be done.” Instantaneously, I felt the grace of God enfold me, and I became courageous, unhesitating, and trustful one. God inspired me to pray-over my son, and exercise His authority over the dengue virus inside him. I had a vision of bursting viruses, as I prayed in tongues. It was an absolute moment of grace and I was so confident of the love of the Lord, as I awaited for my son to be healed. 

I asked God to open my “eyes” (spiritual eyes) so that I can see the beyond. In His grace He showed me my sin – I sinned against the first commandment, that is “to love God above all”, because I placed my son as the center of my life, and my activities centered on him alone – even if I was in the office, my thoughts were only for him. My world solely revolved on my son. Indeed he became the center of my life, and God took the second place. 

Adding salt to injury, I did not love God enough to trust Him regarding the well-being of my son. This was shown through my over-protectiveness and possessiveness. I kept on checking on him every 30 minutes. I bought big bottles of alcohol for us to sterilize our hands before holding Popol. It was as if, I trusted more the alcohol than God.

God’s revelation shook me to repentance and I asked God’s pardon and mercy. I felt God’s grace engulfing me as I was instantaneously restored from the fearful, doubtful, and mistrusting status – to a courageous, unhesitating, and trustful one. God inspired me to pray-over my son, and exercise His authority over the dengue virus inside. I had a vision of bursting viruses, and I prayed in tongues. It was an absolute moment of grace for me and my son. I was so confident of the love of the Lord, for me and my son.

The healing miracle did happen. His platelet count and the blood pressure went back to normal and he recovered without having to undergo blood transfusion.

Spiritually, I was healed too. I experienced peace in my mind and heart – that grateful confidence and certainty of the love of the Lord, and of His power to save me from my personal sin. There is also one thing that is very loud and clear, He wants me to love him above all, because afterall, His grace is never lacking, and His love is over and above the collective meaning of love. 

We were discharged from the hospital, in the morning of December 25 – Christmas Day, a day of love and freedom. Oh how good it is to be in the palm of God’s hand!

The Miracle of Conception

Genesis 18:14

“Is anything too wonderful for the Lord? At the set of time

I will return to you, in due season, and Sarah shall have a son.”

It was medically impossible for us to have a son. We had a complicated combination. I had a retroverted mattress and the sperm-count of my husband is not even one-third of the normal count. The doctors had been telling us that it would take a miracle for us to have a child.

But we saw the greatness of God and He inspired us to pray about it. We were given the desire, but we needed to discern whether it is the will of the Lord for us to have a child. Finally, we were inspired to pray and claim one gift of a child. We claimed that it is God’s will for us, and despite our impossible physical and medical conditions, nothing is impossible with God.

We asked the Lord to give His blessings to the doctor whom we were consulting, such that the doctor will become His instrument. We prayed every night, requesting God to strengthen even just one sperm such that this sperm could mate with my egg cell. We also prayed that God will make my mattress a good haven for a child. 

We prayed-over all medicines that we took, so that God will bless them. We even asked God to multiply the potency of the fertility pills to three times, because instead of taking three capsules a day, we could only afford one capsule a day. 

God realigned and put into order everything in my body and that of my husband – I got pregnant. The impossible thing for doctors became possible with God, and He gave us a son last January 17, 1988. Our son is our living witness to God’s omnipotent power, grace and love. I am indeed in the palm of his hand.

God, Junie and me

II Corinthians 6:14

“Do not be mismatched with unbelievers. For what partnership is there between righteousness and lawlessness? Or what fellowship is there between light and darkness?”

I was hesitant to embark into any relationship, after having experienced an un-blessed relationship with a former boyfriend. I went away from home and came to Zamboanga City. I found my own niche in a community through attendance in the Basic Bible Seminar, at St. Anthony Mary Claret parish. My search for a community brought me to this seminar, and there I met Junie, who was serving as a Facilitator in the said seminar. 

My participation in the seminar progressed to the attendance of the Life in the Spirit Seminars, the Mariology, and the Basic Christian Maturity Course. I was becoming involved in the community activities, and it was there that I met Junie – a look alike of Al Tantay. We were drawn to each other, and we became close friends, sharing time, ideas, and his sense of humor gave me pleasure. We were at ease with one another, and our friendship blossomed into a loving relationship. 

Nevertheless, not our will, but the will of God should prevail. Thus, we agreed to pray for guidance and discernment, so as to know whether we are right for each other. 

Summer of 1986 came and I was given a scholarship program at Iligan City. As we agreed to pray for one another, I prayed and asked for the gift of vision. I told God, that if it is not his will, I rather not continue with the relationship. I was alone praying in the Cathedral, at three in the afternoon. All of a sudden I saw a vision – it was like a “scene” in front of the altar. I saw Junie walking towards my home, along the suntan pathway, with the rays of the sun over him. I was so shocked and was a little bit afraid. Yet, I asked for a second confirmation from the Lord by “putting a fleece” when I said, “Okay Lord, if he is the man for me, let him propose marriage upon my arrival at Zamboanga City”. That was it! I was not desirous for an immediate marriage, but rather, a marriage which would allow us ample time to prepare.

I forgot about my prayer, but God didn’t. When the scholarship program ended, I went back to Zamboanga City. God literally brought Junie at the tarmac of the airport, such that when I came down from the airplane, he was there all excited to meet me and without much ado, he proposed marriage. Whew! I was dumbfounded, because I suddenly remembered my fleece to the Lord. 

He reiterated his proposal and much to his surprise, I said “YES”, because I remembered my prayer. I didn’t even know that all that summer, he was already preparing for our marriage and he did it in a record time of three weeks.

Without the consent of the Lord, I could never have said “YES”. June 28, 1986 marked the beginning of our life together with God, in the Holy Sacrament of Matrimony. I praise God for putting me in the palm of His hand.