God in the Midst of Dengue Fever

Hebrews 6:10-12

“For God is not unjust; he will not overlook your work and the love you showed for his sake in serving the saints, as you still do. And we want each one of you to show the same diligence so as to realize the full assurance of hope to the very end, so that you may not become sluggish, but imitators of those who through faith and patience inherit the promises.”

December 23 of 1991 was a very painful day, filled with hurt, fear and doubt. In the morning, we brought Popol to the hospital for a follow-up check-up. I noted that since leaving our house, he was already crying his heart out- as if, something terrible was happening to him. He was still two years old then, quiet small and a little bit frail. At the hospital, the doctor took his blood pressure, and to my amazement – I glimpsed the surprise and apprehension on his face. Immediately, he took us to the emergency room. My son was in a state of shock, and he was in a very critical condition - as his blood pressure at that time, was zero and his platelet count lowered to a critical level. We never had a chance to go home. Our plans to buy some apples and oranges were forgotten. All I could think of was my son. 

For 6 hours, we stayed in the emergency room, until his B.P. rose back to a safe 70. Later in the evening, his condition worsened, and without medicine, I felt helpless and turned to God for help.

I always believed that nothing happens by coincidence, as it is written in Romans 8:28 …..”Everything works together for good for those who love and serve God”. He allowed it to happen, thus there must be something good that will come out of it. I must see beyond the sickness, the pain and the hurt and cling on the love of the Lord.

God’s loves me, and He loves my son too. In fact His love is even greater than mine. If during my son’s conception, I felt like Sarah and Elizabeth, in this painful ordeal, I felt as if I was the woman version of Abraham – whose love to God was tested, as he was asked to bring his son Isaac as an offering.

I was faced with this question … Am I willing to let go of my son, and entrust him to God? It was a painful - mental and emotional struggle, and the conscious part of my being wrestled and bargained with God.

Yet, subconsciously I held on to God’s promise of eternal love. Afterall, did not God the Father himself, gave-up his holy son to die on the cross – so that I can have eternal life? He has always been my good provider, and he always heed to my needs, even before I have them. Never did he fail anyone, and never will He fail me.

Was he not the one who gifted me with a son? God is a good God, and because he willed it to happen, then something greater than the pain will come. Who am I then to question His wisdom and His power?

That was the beginning of my surrender, and I said……...” Lord, let thy will be done.” Instantaneously, I felt the grace of God enfold me, and I became courageous, unhesitating, and trustful one. God inspired me to pray-over my son, and exercise His authority over the dengue virus inside him. I had a vision of bursting viruses, as I prayed in tongues. It was an absolute moment of grace and I was so confident of the love of the Lord, as I awaited for my son to be healed. 

I asked God to open my “eyes” (spiritual eyes) so that I can see the beyond. In His grace He showed me my sin – I sinned against the first commandment, that is “to love God above all”, because I placed my son as the center of my life, and my activities centered on him alone – even if I was in the office, my thoughts were only for him. My world solely revolved on my son. Indeed he became the center of my life, and God took the second place. 

Adding salt to injury, I did not love God enough to trust Him regarding the well-being of my son. This was shown through my over-protectiveness and possessiveness. I kept on checking on him every 30 minutes. I bought big bottles of alcohol for us to sterilize our hands before holding Popol. It was as if, I trusted more the alcohol than God.

God’s revelation shook me to repentance and I asked God’s pardon and mercy. I felt God’s grace engulfing me as I was instantaneously restored from the fearful, doubtful, and mistrusting status – to a courageous, unhesitating, and trustful one. God inspired me to pray-over my son, and exercise His authority over the dengue virus inside. I had a vision of bursting viruses, and I prayed in tongues. It was an absolute moment of grace for me and my son. I was so confident of the love of the Lord, for me and my son.

The healing miracle did happen. His platelet count and the blood pressure went back to normal and he recovered without having to undergo blood transfusion.

Spiritually, I was healed too. I experienced peace in my mind and heart – that grateful confidence and certainty of the love of the Lord, and of His power to save me from my personal sin. There is also one thing that is very loud and clear, He wants me to love him above all, because afterall, His grace is never lacking, and His love is over and above the collective meaning of love. 

We were discharged from the hospital, in the morning of December 25 – Christmas Day, a day of love and freedom. Oh how good it is to be in the palm of God’s hand!